#operationthanksgivingdinner

Thanksgiving always seems to get the short end of the stick. It feels as though we go from Halloween straight into Christmas. Now I love a good Thanksgiving dinner as much as the next guy but my heart really belongs to Christmas and Halloween. Christmas especially is such a joyous time of year. People are generally in a better mood and they're more giving of themselves and of any money and goods that they may have. I am one of those people that anxiously wait for Thanksgiving to be over so that I could start decorating immediately the day after. Screw Black Friday, I am all about decorating my house.

Being Single

If you are a friend of mine on Facebook then you probably saw several days of posts for what I was calling “Single Awareness Week”. Basically it was me being an ass about all the happy couple/love my husband posts that are going around now. They showed what I did that day and I was doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Usually it is only on Valentine’s Day that makes me painfully aware just how single I am but now social media has come up with more ways to do that and make it last for weeks at a time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge my friends happiness in their marriages. In fact I long to find that special someone to be in my life to live, laugh and share. Sometimes it’s just tiresome to see that all the time.

~How I see me~

Do you know what it’s like to look at yourself in the mirror every day and wish you were someone else? Maybe not someone else but someone skinnier, healthier, more muscular, etc. etc. etc…Blah blah blah. It’s like a broken record. Every day of my life. This is how I have been living. Existing is more like it. I have spent so long wishing I was something else and never loving and appreciating what I have and because of this I have missed out on a lot of things. I have spent a lot of time this year learning to love and appreciate my body. Reading books and blogs and getting in the mindset to change my everyday thinking. I am slowly being able to look in the mirror and not cringe at what I see. I am learning to see the beauty of myself from the outside. I have spent a majority of my life on a diet or weight loss plan of some sort, spending thousands of dollars on that one thing that will help me. Searching for that number on a scale that will magically fix the way I see myself and make me happy. The sad thing is that number doesn’t exist. That number is what I weigh now, what I weighed 6 months ago and what I will weigh a year from now. I need to fix the way I see me in this moment and love every inch of me inside and out. To be happy in the here and now, no matter how much I weigh.

A peek into my boudoir..almost

I’ve been struggling with this blog post for about a month now. I am honestly at a loss and I am having the hardest time putting my thoughts and feelings into words. This is the only post that you will really get to see me. Not just my words but pictures too. Once this post is up and public I will probably get some judgement as well (“I can’t believe she posted those pictures online!”) but I guess that is going to happen when you have a blog, that at times, shows you at your most vulnerable.

I am one of those people that if I want to do something, I will do it. I’m not going to wait around and miss that opportunity. It’s because of this that I have done and seen a lot of things that most people can only dream about. I am also one of those people that will put something off “until I lose weight” and it is because of this that I have missed out on some pretty spectacular things. I’m not sure why weight should ever have anything to do with whether or not I do something but it does.

Fur babies!

My sister and I didn’t have pets until I was about 13. We had a fish tank and some goldfish and when I was in Junior High we got a toy poodle named Button. Aside from Button, I was very leery of dogs and honestly didn’t really care for them much. They made me nervous, I wasn't sure I could trust them to not bite and they were always up in my face licking and smelling parts of me where a dog had no business being. I became a cat person.