What diets have taught me...

Cabbage soup diet, grapefruit diet, Nutrisystem, 21 day fix, Weight Watchers (more times than I can count), Atkins diet, Suzanne Somers diet, Paleo diet, Vegan diet, South Beach diet, Mediterranean diet, Body of Life, Advocare, Isagenix, flat belly diet, Sparkpeople diet, Biggest Loser diet, no fat/no salt diet, slim fast diet, Whole 30…

I have used every one of these diets at one point in my life. I've spent thousands of dollars and lost hundreds of pounds. I've also gained every one of those pounds back along with a few more just for fun. With every pound lost and every pound gained I have also lost a lot of myself, beaten myself up and shamed myself into trying again. Trying something else that will hopefully allow me to lose the weight. Pushing me deeper and deeper into a pit of body shame and self-hate. What I've learned from my years, 20+ years, is that none of these diets gave or taught me what I thought I would get from them.

These diets taught me how to fuel my body with low fat and fat free chemical laden "food". They taught me that real natural fat was bad.

These diets taught me that my mood for the day was dependent on the number on the scale.

These diets taught me that there was something wrong with me.

These diets taught me that my self-worth was dependent on a certain body size.

These diets taught me that I was unlovable and didn't deserve love unless I was a certain size.

These diets taught me that I needed to wait until I got to a certain weight before I could do so many things in life. "I'll do that when I lose this weight" was said too often.

These diets taught me that certain food was bad and if I ate it, I was bad, and the shame and guilt would start.

These diets taught me to hate myself because I have no willpower.

These diets taught me that “skinny” = “happy”

These diets took the pleasure out of a lot of special events.

I could blame these diets for every one of these things that I've felt in my life. I could blame myself for feeling what I felt on these diets for my whole life. I could blame society for being obsessed with weight, fitness, and the perfect diet. I could blame too many people and events but there's no sense in blame and it doesn't do any good. It was me, all me and I did it to myself. I'm thankful that I'm learning something different now.

I'm learning that food isn't the enemy.

I’m learning to listen to my body and eat what nourishes me.

I’m learning that if I want to eat something formerly thought of as “bad”, that I eat it and there is no guilt involved. I enjoy all foods now.

I learned that throwing away my scale was the most freeing thing I could’ve done.

I'm learning that I am worth so much more than I thought.

I’m learning that love starts with me.

I’m learning that if someone doesn’t want to love me because of my size or weight then I don’t want those people in my life.

I’ve learned that I’m not waiting any longer to do anything. I’m living life now.

I’m learning that there is so much more to our weight than just calories in and calories out. There is so much going on in our mind that we have to deal with and either let go of it or embrace it. Figuring it out isn’t easy but it’s worth it.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that there's another way to live life and it does not involve dieting or restricting anything. It's about listening to myself and my body. It's about being present in life and letting go of the diet mentality and bullshit that I have learned and lived for so many wasted years. 

Years wasted and years I can’t get back. All I know now is to move forward and hopefully inspire others to break free from their diet chains and start to live life too. A life so full of pleasures that I refuse to deny myself any of them. A life that should be lived to its fullest.